"Through you I can do anything. I can do all things. 'Cause it's you who gives me strength. Nothing is impossible!" -Planetshakers
Way back in March of this year, I was asked by our children's pastor if I would be willing to attend kid's camp with the elementary aged girls from our church. My first thought was, "NO WAY!" I absolutely, positively did not want to go. That is way out of my comfort zone.
I believe it takes a big person to admit this, but I get homesick. When I was a kid, I would cry myself to sleep if I stayed over at a friend's house. The first month I was married, I missed my house and my mom so much I would cry. Now, I hate to leave my husband behind. I am a true homebody. I have a great sense of adventure, but I have to push myself if that adventure happens to take place overnight. Weird, huh?
For months I thought about kid's camp and prayed about it. No matter how hard I tried to come up with a reason that I couldn't go, it was always selfish. I just didn't want to.
It wasn't until the last possible day, it was phrased to me for the final time, "You don't want to go to kid's camp, do you?" God has changed me so much over the past couple of years. I am a new person. I couldn't bring myself to say what my flesh desired. I half whispered, half spoke, "I will go."
It's been an emotional roller coaster since then. I knew without a doubt what God wanted me to do. But that doesn't mean I didn't have little nagging thoughts and questions.
When it came down to it, I was so glad when the day for kid's camp finally came. I was sick and tired of talking about it with my kids, thinking about it when I was alone, questioning my mom (the previous year's coach) about it. I just wanted to go and get it over with. I knew God would show up. I just wanted to get the show on the road.
One of my earliest reasons for not going had to do with a really close friend of mine. I've never liked the term best friend because it seems so exclusive. It's like there are losers, and only one winner. I am all about fairness, and I have so many friends that I love. So when I say close, I mean, this woman is very dear to my heart. My friend was scheduled to have a baby delivered via C-section the morning I was leaving. I did not want to miss this. By the time I would get home from camp, the baby would already be a week old. I struggled with that and for a while, I used this as my reason for staying home.
When I finally agreed to go, I put my heart into it. I no longer looked for things to keep me home, I just resolved to try and forget about them. I constantly reminded my friend that she would need to give birth the weekend prior. I was speaking in faith.
The morning of camp arrived, and I had a stomach ache. My nerves were extremely sensitive. I was worried and anxious. I rolled over in bed, did half a cry to my husband, and whined, "I can't do this! I don't want to go." To which he responded, "I got a text in the middle of the night, and Cynthia (my friend) had her baby."
I just started crying. God is so good! He knew how much I wanted to be there for that new little baby. I quickly got ready and went to the hospital at 7:30am. I was probably their first visitor. After seeing that little baby, I was pumped for camp. I knew without a doubt that God had appointed this week for me. I was definitely going to do my part and show up. "Through you I can do anything! 'Cause it's you who gives me strength."
From the minute we arrived, I felt fully capable. All the things that I wondered about myself, were the old me. God has changed me so much! I literally could weep at the difference He's made in my life. I used to be the most fearful, anxious woman I had ever met. I can barely see that woman anymore.
I am confident. That is the difference God makes in a life. I feel like I could do anything. And this week I did. I was stretched thin past my normal limits, but I didn't break. I was exhausted, but I held it together still. Nothing is impossible. The theme of camp this year was so appropriate for me, "Expedition Possible."
There will be more to come later... I might take an entire week to tell about Kid's camp. My cup was overflowing last week; I have so many blessings from God that I can't wait to share with you.
"Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26
Kid's Camp 2012
Worthless? Or Worthy?