I spent the past two days in Warrensburg, Missouri with my 8 year old son. We were attending a Children's Literature Festival. For two glorious days we bounced around the University of Central Missouri listening to some very talented children authors and illustrators. If you remember my love of books, you can imagine how fun this was for me. Gabriel is a man after my own heart. He loves to read and write too!
I don't remember how the topic came up on our drive home, but we began to discuss fighting. He made the observation that kids keep on fighting until the parent comes and breaks it up. I found this idea to be rather interesting since it's the opposite of what I've been trying to teach him.
On many occasions you will hear me answering my children in regards to the latest argument, "I DON'T want to hear about it." No matter what, I will try not to get involved in their disagreements. That is unless it's absolutely necessary. I won't tolerate blood or beating, and if someone is definitely being picked on I will step in.
I tried to explain this to Gabriel. My reason being, there are a lot of grownups who fight and still need a mediator. When you become an adult your parents are no longer supposed to be in the middle of things. The correct thing to have happened is the child learned young how to mend an argument, and can do it now in adulthood by themselves. That is why I don't like to get involved. I am trying to train them to think for themselves.
To this Gabriel responded back to me, "You mean you're not going to make my wife sit on your bed?"