About a month or so ago, I wrote a post entitled Lost. It has never been far from my heart and mind. I have continued the search, and will not give up until Birgit is found.
I have really struggled with the emotions surrounding this girl. With all my heart, I want to say that she is found. I feel as if she is searching for something, and I know that I have the answer to her questions and doubts.
I want to be used by God to do big things. The night before Birgit came knocking on my door, my pastor spoke to the church about Jonah. His main point of the evening was that God uses people like you and me for His everyday work. We tend to downplay the ability that God would actually speak to us, and the importance of it. He uses everyday ordinary people to do extraordinary things.
A line that he said that night stood out to me, "It's not our brilliance that makes the biggest impact on others, it's God's grace in our stupidity that draws them in."
I know I am not brilliant, and I know that I make LOTS of mistakes in my life. Therefore I am the perfect candidate to do something for God. I don't care if it seems big. I just want to make a difference, and draw people to Him.
It was a month ago, Sunday, that I met Birgit. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her, or tried to look for her. She occupies many of my thoughts and prayers. I'm not going to give up.
Last Monday a very exciting God oriented thing happened. My mom showed up at my house with the most extraordinary news. She had a call from a lady, Connie, at our church.
Connie had a visitor selling her books. Her husband had answered the door, and Connie, from the other room recognized that the girl had a strange accent. She came to the door, asked the girl a few questions and found out that this girl was friends with Birgit. She gave her my phone number, and the girl promised to have Birgit call me Sunday night at 6pm.
Birgit now knows that I am looking for her, she has my contact information, and she even knows that I have a gift for her.
If this friend had shown up at Connie's house any other day of the week, the connection wouldn't have been made. Connie works and just happened to be home early for a doctor's appointment. Her husband also only had the opportunity of opening the door because it was a Monday. There was such a small window of possibility for it to work out, that I am convinced it was God. He placed everyone in the right place, at the exact time that was needed. Isn't that just like God?
I wish I could say that it all turned out exactly how I wanted. However, Sunday night came, and she didn't call. I don't know what happened, and I don't know if there was a reason for it. God knows.
I have to trust Him, and be obedient to what He's asking of me.
This was a big faith builder, and at the same time a faith tester. I believe it was God that placed Birgit on my heart, and it was still God who brought the circumstances together for the opportunity of reconnection. But she must be willing to accept. It hurts that she rejected the offer laid before her. There could have been lots of different reasons why she wouldn't make the call. All I know is that it didn't happen.
That's what makes it all so difficult. In this situation, I have had a glimpse at God's own heart. I have felt the agony, the pure torture, of losing this girl, and then I have felt the celebration at finding her again. The overwhelming, I can't help but keep smiling, I'm so happy, rejoicing.
It's all about choices. We are given the freedom to choose. The gift is laid out at our feet, but we need to be willing to pick it up. A gift is worthless if it lies there untouched.
I'm still praying I find Birgit, and maybe there will be a reconnection there. Maybe I will have a chance to give of myself, and share God's love with her.
I may not ever find my friend, but I am daily surrounded by equally deserving individuals that need to feel God's love.
I may not be able to bring Birgit to church like I want, but I can pick up my daughter's friend and bring her instead.
I may not be able to support her financially, but I have friends and know others that I can support through my finances.
I may not be able to listen and talk with her, ask her questions, and learn every detail in her life, but I can spend the time investing in my friends.
I've spent the last couple of days lazing around not doing much, feeling like I've missed out on something special. I got an important message on my phone today that put things into perspective for me. God hasn't just called me specifically to one individual. He's called me to love everyone. Each one of us has something unique and special to offer. We must keep offering it even if it gets turned down. God has called us to love.
"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom." Galatians 5:12-14
She Found Me