A Perfect Love

"Another Day"

With you this madness we call life
Is not really what it might seem.
It is still there, it cannot leave,
But for now, it is a dream.

For a second I can't feel,
For a moment, it is gone
I can't really find what was there,
But at last I feel a song.

Peace is what it brings;
Peace for another day.
I guess nothing really does come...
Life just goes away.

My husband wrote this poem for me after we had been dating for almost a month. This was the first of many poems he would later write. Every night we would say our goodbyes and almost every night for a year before he dozed off to sleep he would email me a poem. Shortly after the poems stopped, we were married, and our life became the poem. I had never seen true beauty until Titus came into my life. He was like magic, and showed up exactly when I needed him.

To help you better understand the meaning behind the poem, I'll share an instant message conversation between me and my husband that I had saved years ago.

He first says: That was written about my most recent source of inspiration...
I asked him to explain the first verse: Well, for some reason when I'm around you, I never worry about what is going on everywhere else... I remember that everything is still going on, but it never really seems to matter.
Okay second verse: Well that one is a little harder to explain but I will try... I don't really know what it's like to miss someone... Mainly because I've never had that problem, but recently I've been having a small sickening feeling in my stomach when you're not around... And I don't feel it when you're there... I don't understand why, but for the time I'm happy for no reason. That's basically what it's saying..Okay now third verse: I guess the best way to describe the feeling is peace, It lets me live through another day... But in reality, peace isn't really a feeling. It's what happens when all your cares go away...Can you see why I fell in love with him? He always has made me feel special in a way that no other person can. The only way that I can see it's possible is that God brought him into my life, and I will forever be grateful.


Every Valentine's Day my husband will buy me a single red rose, not a dozen roses, or a bouquet of flowers, but a single red rose. A single rose stands for simplicity. In full bloom, it means “I love you” or “I love you still.” On other occasions my husband might get me flowers, daisies are one of my favorites, but the single red rose is always reserved for Valentine's Day.

Every year I make sure to take special care of my single red rose, and I add it into the bouquet of years past. Yesterday marked the 12th year that I was given a rose by my husband. If you look closely at my roses you will see that each one has uniqueness about it. I can still find the first rose I was given, and for awhile I could even tell apart a few other years. Now the only one that I can spot right away is my first rose. It was the first time I heard the words "I love you" and believed it. It was also the first time I could honestly say those words back to someone. I like to think that each rose tells a story. There is a couple that look very weathered like they've been through a lot and when I see those ones I see the years that we struggled together. The years that we really became a couple united together as one. But all of them together, the pretty ones and the weathered ones, they make something beautiful.


When I was a kid my mom would make me and my brother and sister great big heart sugar cookies. I loved it! She continued the tradition for a couple years after I was married, and then stopped. Sometimes in order to make room for new things, you have to stop doing something old. This year, I thought it was time I picked up on the tradition to do with my own children. Zech and I made HUGE chocolate chip cookies together. It's not exactly the same, but it holds the same special feeling for me, and I get to bestow that on my children now.


The kids were both very excited to see their large cookies! I think their one cookie might be the equivalent of 6 normal size cookies.


Ariel is definitely my daughter as she LOVES to give gifts. You will never have a holiday or special occasion where she hasn't made some sort of gift or card. She's very creative in what she does. Titus and I received this adorable 3-dimensional card from her. You can't see it in the picture very well, but she is blowing a kiss at us with one hand and holds the sign with the other. It came with a plaque that read: "Dedacated To My Wonderful Parents! I love you!" We were also given a snack mix to share that she made herself. It had goldfish crackers, pretzel sticks, animal cookies, and some Valentine candy from her school party that she was willing to share. Ariel is always my sweetheart!

Along with my rose this year, I got a book from my husband, "Blogging for Dummies". He has seen me at my latest obsession and been made to read all my posts, so it was sweet for him to try to help me out. I did tell him I'm taking the Dummy thing a little personal, but I'll try to let it go. For that he had a backup plan. He got me "The Karate Kid" part one of a movie trilogy that I keep mentioning we need to pick up sometime at the store. And again, he had another backup plan if that was a bad gift; he threw in a bag of twizzlers. How can you go wrong with twizzlers? I love them!

For Titus I picked out one of his favorite coffee flavors from Classic Bean, and a favorite tea, along with a new mug. I couldn't resist buying the chalkboard mug when I saw it. I knew it would be a hit with my husband, and in the few hours we've spent together since I gave it to him, the message has already been changed 3 times. This morning I found it on the counter waiting for me to use for my morning tea reading, "I like the way you...." In the future I see many many secret messages being written on the mug waiting for one of us to find.


Each of my children opened a special Valentine gift chosen just for them. I thought the gift I gave Ariel, says perfectly what love I believe the holiday should be about. I know it's fun to celebrate the love I have with my husband, but I don't think it should be confined to only a romantic love. Not every person has romance in their life, but every person needs to be consumed by a perfect love. Every individual needs to have a lover chase after them, a lover that desires intimacy with them, a lover that changes them, and gives them hope, not despair and grief. The only way you will ever find that perfect love is from Jesus. He is the one who can take that void in you, and make you whole. He's the only one who can give you perfect peace, and happiness. “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Who better than God can give the kind of love every person desires to feel. A love that is willing to give up his son, for you and me. I've always found this verse to be so inspiring and comforting. I could much easier give my own life than be willing to sacrifice my child. How could God love me that much? It's unfathomable! So next time you're feeling let down by your imperfect lover, remember that God is just waiting to lavish you with His perfect love that never fails.


The verse of the day on my blog: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

Santa Delivered

You may think it's a little out of season, or maybe just a little behind in the time, but this week Santa delivered a gift especially for me. It didn't come wrapped in a pretty bow, or beautiful paper, or even a bag. I found it sitting on the kitchen table at my mother's house, amongst some other papers and things. I knew it was mine just the same because on Christmas morning I found a certificate in the Christmas tree saying that Santa would soon be delivering it.

One of my favorite music artists is Adam Young from Owl City. I've sang every song at the top of my lungs, dancing along with my children, listening to the CD at full volume in my living room. There is something about the music that I find so special. It makes me happy. The music is upbeat and catchy. The words are silly and fun. And sometimes the message is exactly what I need to hear. A whole string of random words that make me want to dance and sing freely around the house just being myself.

For Christmas I got a DVD made especially for me of Owl City stuff. It ROCKED! When I went home that night, I immediately watched every minute of it with my husband. We saw every music video, and interview that Adam Young has done, along with his first concert. The DVD alone would have been a perfect gift, but it was just the icing on the cake. Santa delivered me a new CD full of my favorite music by Adam Young. I felt very spoiled this year for Christmas!


For all of you grown-ups who know the secret that lies with Santa, you're probably wondering the mystery that brought the CD to my parent's house, so I'll just tell you. My brother chose this gift for me.

God blessed me with an amazing, absolutely wonderful big brother that I call Shaun. He is always so great at paying attention to details and he puts special touches on things that make you sit back and say, "WOW, I love it!" I've had quite a few fond memories and things that my brother has orchestrated into happening.

I wish I could show you the first gift I remember receiving from my brother, but it's long since been broken and lost. It was a purple beaded necklace that he brought back for me from his first year of church camp over 20 years ago. I felt so special to be remembered on that trip.

Another Christmas years ago, I awoke to a beautiful porcelain doll waiting for me under the tree. I was around 10 or 11 years ago, and I've kept her safe every day since.

He always chooses the greatest gifts. My kid's presents that come from Uncle Shaun are the ones that get played with every day and the ones that they can't let go of. He knows their interests and he puts his heart into buying the perfect thing.

I love when he makes a gift have his own personal touch. The first birthday I had after I began an obsession with Owl City he bought me an Owl notebook that I could apply stickers to so it would read Owl City, and he made me a card by writing my favorite song lyrics on a Hot Air Balloon card. And all the time that I was opening the gift he played the same Owl City song on his iPod for me to hear. See what I mean? Special.

One of my favorite memories from more recent days took place this past fall. My brother took me to a concert to see The Almost and then Switchfoot. The night was awesome! And I loved every moment of it! We sang to the songs, and swayed to the music. It was beautiful.

With Our Hands up high we're screaming ... Whoa whoa oh .. whoa whoa oh

I'm not sure that you can listen to Christian music on the radio and not know who Switchfoot is. Basically every album they make becomes a hit. Every song that they sing becomes famous. So to go to one of their concerts is unbelievably astounding. You sing along to their songs every day and to be hearing it live and know that you're in the same room as them, it's incredible.

We were meant to live for so much more

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

I had to include links to some of my favorite Switchfoot songs. Everyone needs to be a fan of them!

It was definitely a night to remember, and to have gone with my brother made it all the more special.


So as I sit and write this, I'm listening to my new gift from Santa just thanking God that he blessed me with the brother I have. My gift from Santa may be really cool, and I love it a lot, but even more so I love the man who gave it to me. He's always been there for me, and all my life I've enjoyed calling him my friend. When we were young we didn't get into huge fights or arguments. I just remember all the fun times we had playing in the backyard, or hiding in his room when we were scared of being home alone. I know he's always been and always will be someone I can count on.

I always find it interesting how the Bible verse of the day perfectly fits in with my post of the day. God's timing is remarkable! "We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.” 2 Thessalonians 1:3

Happy Birthday Gabriel!

Overnight my little tiny baby boy grew into a 7 year old boy. How did that happen? After watching "Click" awhile back, I have several times since wished for my own universal remote control. However, I don't believe my favorite button would be fast-forward. I think too often I would be pushing pause or just stop or maybe even rewind. Life goes by so quickly; sometimes it seems like I'm just running to catch up with it. I want to pause all those precious moments and memories so they can live on forever. It's just not that easy though. We have to work really hard to keep up with our kids, and continue to grow as parents with them.

For Gabriel, I always enjoy taking the entire month of January to put all the tiny little details and surprises into making his birthday special and memorable. This year we hit a little snag in the plans, as you all probably know, Gabe got sick. He spent the entire weekend laying around with a fever. The big party we had planned with his friends, has been postponed, and will take place this coming weekend instead. On another day, I'll post some pictures and let you know how that goes.

But today is for Gabriel, and the family celebration of his life.

I remember the first time I dreamed of Gabriel and knew without a doubt that God was blessing me with a baby boy. God knew exactly what I desired, and he specially gift-wrapped my son for me.

I remember when I was pregnant with Gabe, and we had a concert at our church. They had a prophetic prayer they wanted to pray over all the pregnant women in the crowd. After the service I came forward and the man laid his hands on my belly, praying over Gabriel. He said he felt such a strong anointing on this child and that he would have messages from God and would make a big impact on people.

I can remember the first time I held Gabriel, and how sweet his tiny hands and feet were. He came out screaming and paused only long enough to catch a breath here and there.

I remember many times over the next few months listening to my baby boy cry over and over again. The doctor said he had colic and would grow up to be a very sensitive young man.

I remember when we bought our first home, and I finally got to paint a room for Gabe. I put so much detail and love into those blue striped walls. I was so proud to show him when I finished it.

I remember when I discovered for the first time just how different boys are from girls. He kept throwing himself into the couch for fun, and at that time I couldn't understand why.

I remember hearing all the wild stories he would tell with his imagination and wondering when he was going to realize he is NOT Spider-Man.

I remember how much Gabriel has always loved people, and never wanted to be left alone. He would follow me around the house just playing beside me quietly even if I was napping.

I remember all the sweet things he would say as a little boy. The time he saw a handicapped woman at the store and said to me, "Look, Mommy, she's beautiful."

I remember the first time Gabriel realized that people don't all have the same skin color, and he was so excited because he saw a "chocolate baby".I remember seeing the faith of Gabe start to grow at such an early age. He always wanted to pray about things, and he would talk to Jesus at any time of day, or he would see Jesus in different places.

I remember when Gordon preached a message about one of his favorite members of the church- Gabe. I was so proud to be his mother that day.

I also remember when Gabe used to put stuff down a hole in the stage and one time the cordless microphone was lost to Gordon for a couple of weeks. It's a good thing we suggested looking under the stage!

I remember Gabriel's first crush on a little baby girl, and how sweet he was when he picked wild flowers for her and asked to drop them off at her house. I'm certain that this is going to happen many times in the future, for Gabriel is going to make a great husband someday.

I remember driving him to his first day of vacation Bible school, one of the first times I left him at a place he wasn't familiar with, and he turned sweetly to me and said, "Mom, you're gonna miss me, aren't you?" If he only knew how much...

I remember when Gabe was talking about growing up one day, and he said to me, "You know what I'm going to say at my wedding? I'm gonna say, thanks for taking care of me when I was a little kid." And on that day I'll tell him that I was honored to do it.I remember how much of a singer Gabe has always been, and how often he melts even a stranger's heart. He would walk up to anyone and start singing, "I was made to love you..." He's always been such a witness for God, and I'm proud to call him my son. I know he is going to do great things as he grows older.

I remember all the kisses and hugs he's given me, and all the times he's wanted to cuddle up on the couch beside me. I'll always treasure these moments.

I remember the times he's told me I'm beautiful, and the compliments he's given me. He is so sweet.

I remember all the walks we took with his Grandma at the mall and how he always had to find a different hiding place from her every day.

I remember how much he wanted to marry me, and how we had that secret wedding so his dad wouldn't find out and beat him up.

I remember bringing him to school on his first day of kindergarten and how much my heart was breaking knowing that soon I would no longer be the only lady in his life. I knew he was going to melt his teacher's heart, and fall in love with her too.

I remember hearing about his first kiss from a girl in his class and how disappointed he was that he had already used his "wedding kiss". He said he was never doing that again!

I remember how excited he gets when I surprise him at school and show up for lunch. I need to start doing that more often now.

I remember bringing him to the dentist to have his first tooth pulled out because he had shattered it at school. It brought me so much pain to see his tears and hear him crying down on the floor because it hurt so bad.

I remember the movies we've watched together at the movie theater and how he always asks to cuddle when a scary part comes up.

I remember the board games we've played together and the acting we've done for charades. My favorite was when he picked the card that was so "unappropriate" which turned out to be a ballerina.

I remember all the times he would try to do something for me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings, and he wanted me to be happy.

I remember all the times Gabe has told me exactly how he feels. He's not afraid to say, "I feel like I'm not a part of this family." Or "I feel like you don't love me." I don't have to worry about him or wonder what's going on in his head. I know. Because he tells me.

I remember seeing how giving of a child he is and having too many times to tell him to keep something for himself. He would give almost everything away if I let him.

I remember how each night Gabriel will ask me for a kiss and hug before bed because he says it keeps bad dreams away. I pray I can always keep him safe from harm.

I remember all the times I've seen Gabe so compassionate toward others and how one time he wanted to give his money to a homeless man instead of buying a candy bar for himself.

I remember all the times I've cried with Gabe because his feelings were hurt by someone. He is very sensitive and I wish I could be a shield for him from that pain.

I remember just gazing at my son and seeing the beauty that God created in him. There is no one just like him, and no one can compare. God made him unique. He is a sensitive, caring boy who's going to grow into a wonderful husband for some very lucky young lady. He's going to compliment her daily, bring her home flowers and buy her pretty dresses. He's going to see the beauty that's deep within her and he's not going to be afraid to show how he feels. He's going to follow God with all his heart and make a difference for Him. People are going to see Gabriel and want what he has. He is an inspiration. And I love him. I'm so proud to call him "my son."

Happy Birthday Gabe! I love you!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I haven't had time to keep up with all the posts I would love to do. Life just gets too busy. Normally, if I hear something cute or funny that one of my children says, I'll jot a short note and come back to it when I have the time. This is my last one for today!

We had too much sickness in our house during the month of January. For the third time in three weeks, Gabe threw up.

As we were cleaning up the mess and I was getting him to take a shower, he says to me, “I think we always should take a shower after we throw up. Because all drains lead to the ocean (Finding Nemo reference) and then it will flush the germs out of our house.”

If only it was that easy...

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Yesterday, Gabe and I took a visit to the doctor's office. He's been sick off and on for about a month, so I figured it was time to go in. As we were sitting in the waiting room, this man walked by who probably hadn't showered for several days.

The air was filled with his presence long after he had gone away.

As the few of us in there were trying to catch our breath, and the receptionists' were spraying air freshener, Gabe says to me, "Mmm.. it smells good in here."

I had to ask him, "What exactly does it smell like to you?" I thought maybe he smelled the air freshener.

"Tacos. And it's making me hungry!"

There have been a few times I've thought B.O. spelled a little bit like fried food, but it has never put me in the mood to eat.

Zuppa Toscana Soup

If you've ever eaten soup and salad at Olive Garden, and maybe tried the Zuppa Toscana soup off their menu, you probably were like me and went home to look for the recipe. When I had my date with Gabriel I was introduced to this wonderfully delicious soup. A couple weeks later my husband took me back for a date because I just couldn't stop thinking about the soup. It was that good!

I had to have the recipe for myself, and searched the web through many similar kinds until I settled on this Zuppa Toscana recipe aka to my family "Potato Soup". I've made it a few times, and every time my husband sighs with pleasure during his entire bowl.

Over and over again I hear him say, "this soup is SO wonderful."

"I love you soo much."

"You know, I think this is probably the best soup I've eaten, EVER."

And another one for fun, "The chef is pretty hot too. "

We've changed up the recipe just a little, mostly because it didn't make enough for my family and for my husband to have leftovers. I also tried to make it a little less spicy. The first time I made the soup, the kids and I could not stop coughing. Every single time I would take a bite, tears would come to my eyes, and I could hardly swallow. It was just that HOT. I think last night I got the soup perfect for every family member, and it's still Titus' favorite soup.

Potato Soup

• 8 cups chicken broth
• 1 cup light cream (half & half)
• 4 medium russet potatoes
• 4 cups chopped kale
• 1lb pork sausage
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes

Combine chicken broth and cream in saucepan over medium heat. Slice unpeeled potato into ¼ inch slices, then quarter the slices and add to soup. Add the kale. Grill sausage and add to soup. Add spices and simmer for about 2 hours. We've never been patient enough to wait the 2 hours. Usually we make it about 45 minutes and then it's dinner time!
It's a very simple soup to make, and so delicious! There are very few spices, but it has tons of flavor. It makes a perfect food to eat on a cold blizzardy day! Enjoy!

Duct Tape

When I was a kid, I always enjoyed a roll of duct tape, or any type of tape for that matter. And now that duct tape comes in all colors and styles, I'm in heaven! I was constantly getting in trouble as a kid for using up all the tape. I just love it! I was blessed with a daughter who shares my love, and she received her first roll of tape for Christmas this year. I can now sympathize with my mom from years ago, as I go to look for MY ROLL of tape and find it hidden in my daughters room being used for her latest art project.

One of my newest hobbies has been making purses out of duct tape. I received my very first duct tape purse from my niece, Mikaela, a few years ago. She actually had made it with Ariel in mind, but my daughter thought it seemed silly to have a purse made out of tape. Little did she know that a couple years later she would be begging me to make one for herself.

I loved my first duct tape purse. As you can see, it's very special and was made with love. I'm certain I will keep it for always.

I've made a few purses since receiving that first one, and I thought I would share a short tutorial on how I did it. You can look on YouTube and find tons of videos to explain the process step by step.

First you have to determine how large you want your purse. I make mine about 8 inches tall. I start by cutting several 8 or 9 inch strips in 1 color, and then fold each of them in half lengthwise.


I choose an alternating color and cut the same amount of strips in the same length. This will end up making a square purse, but you can choose different lengths for different shapes.


After my strips are all folded in half, I lay down all of one color, and then start weaving the opposite color through them. It helps to tape one side down to the table to hold it in place, or go ahead and seal the side.

Finish weaving all of your strips until you end up with the dimensions of purse you want.


I trim all my edges, and seal them. You don't have to actually seal them yet, but I find it makes them much easier to work with later.



You have now finished the front piece of fabric for your purse. Go ahead and make an exact duplicate for the back of your purse.


Next you are going to work on the sides and bottom. Depending on how large you want it, will determine how many strips you need. I make my purses rather skinny, and only use 2 strips wide.


Seal all the edges. Make sure when you're making them you match the same dimensions as the front and back of your purse. If you don't make it tall enough, it will end up looking bad. You make three of these, one for each side, and then one for the bottom of the purse.


I lay all my pieces out on the table, and duct tape them all to the bottom of the purse.


After you've attached all the sides to the bottom, you can continue taping all the sides together to form your purse. When I've gotten all the insides of my purse taped, I go ahead and tape the outside edges too. I think it gives it a stronger hold, and it looks better.


Once all my sides have been taped, I work on the top lip of the purse. If my sides are not all even, I cut them down to the right size, then I finish it off by adding a long strip of duct tape all the way around. I normally tear the piece in half lengthwise before I attach it to the purse. Otherwise it covers too much of the checkered pattern.


The next step is working on the strap of your purse. I've done a couple different types. My daughter's favorite is a braided handle. On this purse, I made it simple and just cut two different color long strips of duct tape to make the handle. You want to make sure to secure your handle very tightly so it doesn't come lose.


With the larger checkered purse, I use a long piece of tape and attach it completely down the side of the purse. I've also seen it recommended, as you attach your handle, to use a long enough piece of tape that will stick all the way down the side and onto the bottom of the purse. I have used grommets on my purse handles too. They make a more professional look. However, it can be a little difficult to cut the hole when you're going through several layers of duct tape. Most of the purses I make are small enough that duct tape will hold the handle on. And I've often made the joke to the friends I've given these to, "If it breaks, just duct tape it back together. Duct tape fixes everything!"
The last step is adding your embellishments. My personal favorite is a small bow, placed off center on the top edge. Ariel really likes to add a duct tape rose to her purse. If you have an X-Acto knife you can cut different pictures out to add. I haven't quite mastered using my knife yet. Duct tape is so sticky, it's really tricky!

In order to make my simple bow, you cut two of the same size pieces of duct tape, and stick them back to back. If you want your bow to stand out, use two different colors!


You just gather it in the center, and tie it off with a small piece of duct tape. Then simply duct tape it where you want it to go.

Here is our completed purse!


I've made a couple of these purses to be used as gifts for Ariel's friends. I always like to add some more duct tape things for inside. For this purse, I made a matching pink and purple wallet and a pretty duct tape rose that we sprayed with perfume to make it appear even more real. Be creative!

I found tutorial videos for making wallets and roses out of duct tape on YouTube.

This was my very first duct tape purse I made myself. I put several hours into it, and a couple rolls of duct tape. I started making my purses smaller now.

This one I put pleats in to make it a little fancier, and I added a pocket.


A couple more samples of my purses!


This was my first "man-bag". Gabriel loves it and carries it to school every day. He's even offered my services to all the little girls in his class!


Be careful when you make your first purse. They can be very addicting!