Kids Do the Darndest Things

Some styles are not for everybody. We all want to fit in and at times wear things that are unflattering to our bodies because we think it makes us look like part of the "in" crowd. Who gets to decide what's "in" and what's "out"? And why do we let them decide that for us?

I am reminded through my son's actions how young of an age this starts. We all want to belong and be loved. It's the way God made us. Often times we choose the wrong way to get acceptance. We look to man to fill that need, when the answer lies in looking to God.

Layering is in. In fact, I found 7 rules to layering. These are not original to me.

Rule #1 - Thinner clothes first
Rule #2 - Define the layer
Rule #3 - Keep it casual
Rule #4 - Always feel comfortable
Rule #5 - Mix in some color
Rule #6 - Layering is practical
Rule #7 - Jacket not required

I have two children that care about how an outfit goes together, and one that grabs the top clothing item in the drawer. Zechariah is one that cares. He has noticed the style of his older sister. He wants to fit in. He doesn't realize this style is called layering. He just knows he wants to wear 2 shirts. It makes him cool.

No matter what temperature it is outside, he will walk out of his room with two very warm shirts. He hasn't quite figured out the "rules" and the correct way it's supposed to be done. I love his innocence.

When he walks out in his multi-layered outfits, I have been guilty many times of telling him to change. It's not practical. It's hot outside in the summer, and the extra shirts are going to make him sweat... more. Zech is always highly disappointed when I don't approve his outfit. I'm guilty of the same desire for approval. I can't let him leave the house wearing it. What would people think about me as a mother? That I don't care what my son looks like? Or what if they were thinking I thought he looked good? Ouch. I didn't mean to go this deep on my post.

The story always ends the same. I make him change. I am trying to guide him to what I think looks good. On more than one occasion he has been angry with me for this.

A few weeks ago, Zech called me into the bathroom. He is still learning the basics of clothes and doesn't always get his underwear pulled up straight and flat. When it bunches it leaves red marks cutting into his skin. It's uncomfortable for him, and I am required to help.

I soon found out why I was no longer needing to ask Zech to change his clothes. He was slyly layering his underwear. Zech had four pairs of underwear that day! If only everyone around him knew just how "stylish" he really was.

Angel

God works in mysterious ways. I am in awe of His power.

Grocery shopping day is not our favorite time in this family. I don't particularly enjoy shopping. I buy a lot of things online to save myself a trip to the store. My children have adopted my dislike for the experience.

After a particularly hard morning, we were loaded into the car on our way to the grocery store. My daughter was determined to butt heads with me the entire time. She wanted to stay home; I refused to let her. Hormones were raging and things were quickly deteriorating.

Most people cannot believe that my daughter has a dark side. Unless you've witnessed it for yourself, you probably are under the impression that she is always sunshine and blue skies. She is one of the most positive people you will meet, and she is kind to all... outside the family circle.

Raising a tween can be rather difficult, especially a strong willed one like my daughter. I have tried to be creative in my discipline, but this still can be challenging. I was at the end of my rope.

We drove to the store. The air was suffocating. She refused any form of discipline. I couldn't even get her to put her seat belt on. You might think I am a weak parent, and I'm not "doing" the right thing. But I have done and tried it all. I have taken away things and privileges, I have grounded, I have tried work therapy, and I have done time outs. I am consistent. I do what I say. I don't make idle threats. I follow through. If my daughter absolutely does not want to obey me, there is nothing I can physically do to get her. Her physical strength matches mine. I no longer can "make" her do something, and she has figured that out. I can certainly give her consequences, but as for forcing her to do something like keep a seat belt on while I'm driving, that's out of my hands.

All that is left is to pray. And pray I have done.

When we arrived at the store, I requested my daughter carry the bags. The store we were at does not provide sacks for free, so you must bring your own. My daughter refused. She tried to throw them in my shopping cart, and I kindly handed them back to her. The bags ended up on the ground with my daughter standing nearby folding her arms defiantly.

I went into the store with last instructions to feel free to pick up the bags and join us when she was ready.

The morning had been a roller coaster of emotions, but I was sticking to it. I sighed in frustration and exhaustion. Prayer was the only thing I had left. I don't know why it took me that long to remember. I took out my phone and sent a quick text to my mother. "Pray for Ariel and myself. She is acting up 10 times worse than before and we are shopping. She is standing outside the store."

I felt the tears start, and I didn't want to make a scene. I have tried my best with these children God blessed me with, but sometimes I feel like an utter failure. I lose my cool. My temper takes over. Or I just don't have a clue what to do. I feel helpless and out of control. My emotions were starting to take over. I had kept calm this entire morning, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. When I am overwhelmed, my natural desire is to give up and throw in the towel. I quit and shut down my emotions. I can't do it.

As I pressed the send button on my phone, I uttered the words, "God, I don't know what to do. HELP." I turned back towards to the door hoping to catch a glimpse of my daughter. I worried about her being there, outside, alone. When I turned, I almost ran into someone. She was a foot away from my face. She had long dark hair, brown eyes, freckles and a golden brown tan. In her hand she held a shopping list and pen. No shopping cart.

"She's still there outside walking in circles. I thought about talking with her."

I didn't know what to say, "Oh yeah?"

Understanding showed on her face, and I had to try even harder to hold back my tears. This woman cared about me. I could see it in her eyes.

"I saw the whole thing. She needs to respect you. You are her mother and God wants us to respect our parents. Would it be okay with you if I went and talked to her? She has to know that you are in control and she needs to obey you. Do you think it would help if I talked to her?"

Baffled that this woman would care so much, I responded, "Yeah that would be nice. Thank you. I think she would listen to you."

When the woman walked out, I didn't know what to think. I kept back the tears, and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Normally, I might feel a little put off by someone trying to intrude in my parenting. But this time I felt at peace with the woman. I only hesitated for a second wondering what her motive was. I trusted her. She looked me right in the eyes and I felt a supernatural calm.

I continued to shop, looking over my shoulder every few seconds, waiting for Ariel and the woman to come into the store. I had no idea what they could be talking about. After about 5 minutes, Ariel found me down at the end of the aisle. She had red eyes, and a look of compliance about her. I didn't question her immediately. I figured she would talk when she was ready.

We quietly made it through the store with no problems. I searched the store with my eyes to find the woman, but she was not there. The store is quite small, only having four aisles, so it's not very hard to locate a person. I wanted to catch a glimpse of the woman, and say "thanks." My daughter came in quite a different person. I wanted to know what happened; what words were said.

I noted that Ariel also was scanning the store looking for the woman. I thought she might be embarrassed at the confrontation. Maybe she wanted to prove that she was going to change and comply with me.

The longer we were in the store, the more desperately I searched for the woman. Where had she disappeared to? She had a long list and I met her right inside the front door. There is only one entrance and one exit. By the time we made it to the check out, I had gone over and over my conversation with the woman. I was convinced the woman was a messenger from God.

I don't see angels everywhere that I go. In fact, I would have told you that I had never seen an angel. But the closer I came to the exit, the more I began to believe that I had a supernatural encounter. I wanted to talk with my daughter about it more, but didn't want to bring it up in the middle of the grocery store.

As we were bagging our groceries, I began to think again about the woman. I had requested prayer from my mom, and then uttered a very desperate plea for God. "I don't know what to do."

You have to understand the background for this plea. I have struggled a lot over the past few months emotionally. I feel overwhelmed with my commitments, and I'm learning more and more how truly helpless I am. I used to think I could do everything myself. I like to be in control. But I am finding that the control I thought I had was an illusion. I have been broken these past few months. I'm still trying to put back the pieces. Some days I do really good asking God for help. And other days I experience that satisfaction that comes from thinking I did it. God has been stretching me. My perfect world has shown many cracks and weak spots. It has only been in my anguish that I found how little I was depending on God, and how much I was depending on myself.

God has done some pretty amazing things in me when I have been willing to cry out to Him, "I need help."

This was no exception. God answered my plea in a very personal way. He sent that woman to me. I am convinced she was an angel.

The groceries were loaded, and I was alone with Ariel to finally ask what happened. I began to question her. "What did the woman say to you?"

"She asked me, 'What's wrong'. I told her I had a fight with my mom."

My daughter was hesitant to say much more to me. I knew I had to share a little bit first, to get her to open up to me. I could see how the woman affected Ariel.

I wanted to share my thoughts with Ariel, but I couldn't quite get the words out of my mouth. "Ariel. I think. That lady that you talked to." I no longer cared to stop the tears. "I think that lady was." I couldn't get the word out. "I think she was an angel." I whispered the last word through a sob.

A light went on inside my daughter. She started sobbing. In between choking sobs, "I thought the same thing."

Neither one of us have ever made this claim before, but both of us came to the same conclusion each individually. We both tearfully agreed that this was no ordinary encounter. I explained to Ariel how I tried to find her in the store, but she was nowhere to be found. I just wanted to tell her thanks. Ariel agreed with me, "I wanted to tell her thank you too. I kept looking for her, but I couldn't find her again."

The woman told Ariel, "I can see that you have a really good mom who cares about you. God wants us to respect our parents. In the Bible it says we should honor them. When we respect our parents it's the same thing as respecting God. And respecting our parents makes us stronger." The woman gave Ariel a hug and said, "Let's go inside."

Ariel found me in the store just a few feet away, and when she turned back the woman was gone. Neither one of us ever saw her again.

I am convinced that woman was on a mission from God Himself. She had a message specifically for me and for my daughter at the exact moment we needed it. The woman came shopping with a list, but instead of buying she came straight to me. When my son overheard the conversation between me and my daughter, he speculated that her list was not of food, but names of those people she was sent to help.

I don't believe it was a coincidence that we ran into her. I believe we had a supernatural encounter, and I am changed because of it. I was encouraged. I am doing the best I can to raise these children of mine. And I believe that God is proud of me. He said I'm a good mom. What more can I strive for? I have affirmation from God Himself.

Ariel and I both came to the same conclusion. God must really love us to send an angel to be with us during our pain. He cares when we are hurting, and He does something about it.

The Daily Coffee

My kids have done it again, they've gone and impressed me. Earlier this week the older two had the idea that we needed a family newspaper. Titus is gone at work all day, and they felt he needed to hear all about our days. After something interesting happens, they write an article.

I love their dedication! They each write different parts of the paper and they came up with cute names. The paper is called The Daily Coffee because their father can't go a day without his pot of coffee! They have in the issue a joke section, titled Laughing Caffeine. Even Zechariah is involved in this paper. While he doesn't write the articles himself, he does dictate what his article will say.

Summers are normally spent playing and having fun with education taking a bit of a back seat. Not in this house. We keep it at the forefront at all times. This has been an excellent way to continue education. And the greatest part, since it's their own idea they are excited about it. They can't wait to put together each issue and read the final copy. The only part I help with is typing up their articles and inserting photos. I am the official photographer for The Daily Coffee.

This is such a great idea for kids in school. They get a chance to write and practice their skills, and you are left with a keepsake worth treasuring. I hope they keep this up, even if the paper cuts back it's printing to only once a month, it would still be a significant advantage.

The Daily Coffee

Our latest edition is highlighting all the fun we had this Independence Day. The kids get so excited holding their paper, they can't wait for their dad to walk in the front door so he can read their hard work.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!  

Backyard Safari

Ever think about taking your kids on a safari, but don't have the means to get there? Why not host your own backyard safari? You could make it a party and invite your friends. It's easy, it's cheap, and it gives your kids a chance to go on an exciting adventure, without even leaving your home.

During my week alone with Zech, we chose to explore the wild side. We went on a hunt for animals in the rainforest in our own backyard. He loved this activity.

For $8.99 at Hobby Lobby you can purchase your own set of Rainforest animals! They always have %40 off coupons, and if you coupon, you can get your animals for only $5.39 plus tax. If you aren't too into the rainforest idea, they have tons of other animal toobs to choose from. There are reptiles, dinosaurs, ocean animals, horses, farm animals, sharks, and much more.

After I picked out my animal toob, I put together a worksheet of all the animals we would be hunting for. I Googled different coloring book pictures of each animal. Once Zech found the animal, he could color it on his sheet, and it helped him keep track of the other animals he still needed to find.

He was so excited to go on this hunt. The hard part for him was waiting inside while I hid all the animals in the backyard for him to find. I tried to put them in their natural habitats, but you can imagine how that might get a little tricky when you don't live in the rainforest. We went for as close as possible.

I handed him a magnifying glass and he went to work. (These animals are really small when looking for them in the big backyard!) I tried to find this old safari hat we had in the basement, but it seemed to have disappeared. He didn't mind.

We hunted for... an Alligator

Anteater

Iguana

Jaguar

Parrot

Poison Arrow Frog

Red Eye Tree Frog

Snake

Spider Monkey

Tapir

Toucan

It was such an easy activity to put together, and it gave the greatest satisfaction to Zech. He begged me to hide the animals again. He has also taken to putting together "safaris" for me in the computer room. I have found all these animals time and time again. It never gets old for him.

I Spy

For ten days Gabriel was in New York with his grandma, and Ariel is currently at youth camp. The house has been eerily silent. While I've missed both of my children, I completely enjoyed that extra time alone with Zech. I know it will soon be upon us when he begins kindergarten, and my life will change drastically. For twelve years I have stayed at home with my kids. I'm excited and scared about this next step of my life.

Zechariah is your typical little kid who loves playing I Spy. We have look and find books, and "I Spy" puzzles and games. We have some conversation stones we use at dinner and his favorite are the stones with colors on them.

No matter where we are he will say, "Mommy, I spy with my little eye something blue... green... yellow... white..." The game never stops for him. In fact, he's been talking about having an I Spy birthday party for some time now.

This week we had an I Spy day together. We played I Spy for hours. That is an act of love for me. I can only handle so much before I get tired. My brain can't take it.

For some added enjoyment we made our own I Spy picture to look at. It was so much fun to go around the house gathering items and toys to put in the photo. We found some really random items that were special to Zech.

I have a white foam poster board that I like to use for pictures. We put all our things on top of it as close as possible and snapped a photo. We strategically placed a few buttons and other small objects in "hidden" places. It was so easy and has already provided hours of fun for Zech.

I know we will be making several I Spy pictures in the future. We can do theme I Spy. Trains. Cars. Craft Supplies. Food. The ideas are endless!

Since becoming a Compassion and World Vision sponsor I am always on the lookout for new and fun paper gift items to send to our sponsored kids. I think this would be fun for them! We could laminate the two photos onto a piece of construction paper. This could become a whole series of I Spy pictures and we could mail them with our letters each month!

The Gift of Giving

"The only way you can truly get more out of life for yourself is to give part of yourself away."
-Jim Stovall-

"One of the key principles in giving, however, is that the gift must be yours to give- either something you earned or created or maybe, simply, part of yourself."

As I've said before, I meet monthly with my friends to discuss a book we've read and to watch the movie of it, if possible. This is one of my favorite activities that I take part in. It's such a great opportunity to have that time to look forward to.

In May we were given the challenge of reading, The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall. It is a very motivating book. If you haven't read it yet, I would highly recommend it to you. And to top it all off, there is a corresponding movie to watch. Movies don't normally live up to the expectations I set after reading a book, but this one does a more than adequate job.

When we got back together to discuss our book, I challenged the rest of the ladies to follow in Jason's footsteps. Each month Jason was given 30 days to complete his task. The month I wanted us to focus on was the Gift of Giving.

For the entire month, until we met again, we were challenged to give of ourselves each and every day. I printed off calendars for everyone to keep track of this on. It could be something as simple as letting someone go in front of you at the grocery store, to giving up your close parking spot. It could be costly as well, as long as you were giving from your heart and in some kind of sacrificial way. It could be babysitting for a friend, or writing a letter of encouragement. The ideas are endless.

We met together a week ago and shared how our month went. It was so uplifting! I loved hearing about the time these ladies gave to others and the creativeness that they showed. I want to challenge you to do the same. Spend the next 30 days giving of yourself. See what happens! I guarantee you will be blessed.

If you're already familiar with The Ultimate Gift, you might also have heard of The Ultimate Life. It takes it one step further for Jason. In the first book he must learn how to apply the gift of giving to his own life. In book two he figures out how to share that gift with others and teaches them to give.

I tried to get my family and kids involved as much as possible in this challenge. For the first month of summer vacation we practiced giving to others. We were richly rewarded.

Just to inspire you, I thought I would share a few highlights from our 30 days of giving.

We volunteered at our church and cleaned the chairs in the auditorium.

On Memorial Day we bought a bouquet of flowers and went to the cemetery near our home. We each took turns picking out a grave to leave them on. For each person we chose, we said a prayer for the families that have been left behind. You could do this any time of year.

One of our favorite things we did was writing encouraging notes and leaving them on cars anonymously. We wrote the letters before we left our home, and then we purchased more flowers. The kids each had two notes to leave. They were very excited about this!

I loved how seriously they put thought into where and whom would receive them. Prayers would go up and God would show them what parking lot we were to drive to, and what car we should stop at. If the people who received them were half as blessed as my children who were giving them away, they were in for a treat. The kids thought this was the most exciting thing to do! Gabe requested we do it every week. He can't wait to be a grownup and be able to drive around delivering secret gifts.

One of Gabe's notes read: You are spectacular because God loves you very much, even when you make mistakes. So remember God loves you.

One of Ariel's notes: You are a lion or lioness of God. He handcrafted and made you unique. He loves you so much. Even if other people don't, God thinks your a very cool person. God loves you so much he gave up his life for you.

One of Zech's notes: God loves you very much and he will never forget how he loves you. You are special. He made you happy, and strong and courageous.

I believe each of them had a word from God for some very special individual. All I told them was to write from their heart what they wish someone might say to them. I was blown away with their words. I think each of them showed great maturity. It was an unbelievable afternoon... to say the least.


On another day we left a gift of mini chocolate bars and a thank you note for our mail carrier to find.

After donning some stylish blue gloves, we picked up trash in the parking lot of our movie theater. One parking lot, four bags of trash!

The kids baked some chocolate chip cookies and made thank you cards for our neighborhood firemen. This was another one of those things the kids really enjoyed doing, and the firemen were so receptive. They let the kids play around on the fire trucks and showed us around the station. It was an equally rewarding experience!

"Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you." Deuteronomy 16:17

I challenge you for the next 30 days to give of yourself. You will receive back far more than you ever hoped to give!

Mail Call

My heart is overflowing with love.

These days my life has revolved around our three children we are sponsoring. They occupy my thoughts and prayers. In one word, I have become obsessed. It's a strength of mine, and a weakness. On the one hand I am able with God's help to accomplish much; however, I sometimes do it at the expense of other things.

I'm trying to figure out a balance. It's been very difficult to say the least.

Right now I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I have three children we have agreed to sponsor and correspond with. But it doesn't stop there. I want to keep adding children to the family. I want to send as much mail to them as possible. I want to buy them small gifts. I want to learn about them and their lives. I've got this obsession in me. It's like a red blinking light that yells their names.

Aberu. Yeabsira. Meyli.

I have so much love in me that it's overflowing and spilling out. I can't contain it. I keep seeing all these beautiful faces, and they are calling to me. Begging me for help.

But I am only one person. I am not God. And I do not have His complete power to do whatever I want. I have His power in me to do His will, not mine. I don't know what lies ahead. But I do know that I have been given an order. I am to wait. And wait I have done.

This week the wait has been briefly lifted. The letters are coming in.

Saturday we received our first letter from Aberu in Ethiopia.

Hope to meet in our next letter. Until then, May God bless you and keep you safe.

I loved the closing statement in Aberu's letter. We may never meet in person, but we will meet monthly in our letters. I cried when I read her mention of God. I thought I would never be allowed to mention Him, but on further inquiry, I am not allowed to mention "Jesus" or the "salvation message". But I am free to talk about God and tell her that I am praying for her. I was overjoyed to find that I am given at least this liberty.

Thursday we received our first letter from Yeabsira in Ethiopia. I cried and laughed when I read it. Here's a short excerpt.

My family and I are happy that you are willing to be my Sponsor. Thank you. Do you have many chickens? What do they eat?

And today we received an email from Compassion saying our first letter is on its way from Meyli in Peru.

My heart is full. My cup is overflowing. My love has multiplied.

I have spent hours and days scouring the Compassion and World Vision websites. And I have come to this conclusion. Your money means a lot to these children, but your words are a lifeline to them. Letters and packages to these kids are equated with your love. A sponsor who writes and sends words to these children, shares their greatest treasure, themselves. A sponsor who shares their money is of value, but the kids still end up feeling unworthy when the letters don't come.

I have recently been extremely discouraged. I overextend myself, and I feel stretched thin. I have many commitments but not enough of myself to commit. I know something needed to change. I was lost as to what. I pushed all these thoughts aside and made myself available no matter how I felt. I smiled when I felt like crying. I felt underappreciated and overworked. Let's just say, I wasn't happy.

Mothers are good at detecting those things. Mine called me on it. She told me I needed to do some serious praying and asking God what He wanted me to do. And maybe all the other things I would need to let go. She phrased the question like this.

If you had to give up everything you do, and asked God what He wanted you to do. What comes to mind?

I had a hard time answering through the tears. The only thing I could say with complete assurance, "I want to work with kids."

I have never been so certain in my life about anything. God has called me to children. I believe I have found my calling. I'm exactly where I need to be with them. I'm teaching and loving them. I'm trying to pour into their lives.

Compassion and World Vision has added a new dimension to this calling. I firmly believe that I am to invest in these sponsored children's lives. I am fulfilled.

Unfortunately the road to fulfillment is not always easy. There have been several bumps along the way. Anytime you do something to fulfill your calling to follow God with your whole heart, the enemy does not like it. We have had many days over the past few months that I honestly feel like we've been in a battlefield. I have lain there wounded, from the arrows that have touched me. I'm trying to keep up my spiritual armor, but it's difficult. Failure comes. Discouragement creeps in.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

For now, I wait again on God. I have three very precious children that I can write to. Someday I may have more, but for now I wait, and hope in the Lord.

I wanted to share another aspect of Compassion that some of you may not be familiar with. Remember earlier, how I said these letters are a lifeline to these children? You can have the opportunity to be that to as many children as you'd like.

If your first response is, I don't have the money. I have great news for you! Neither do I. If you're like me and your heart is bigger than your wallet, keep reading.

Compassion has a correspondence program that is not heavily advertised. For financial sponsors who do not have the time to put into writing letters and building the personal relationship, they can sign their children up for a correspondent sponsor.

This is the answer you have been waiting for. You can be used by God no matter what your circumstances are. God is looking for willing people to work through. You can be that vessel.

"Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18 (NIV)

We are correspondent sponsors for Meyli. We do not financially support her. We are responsible for the personal relationship with her. We exchange letters back and forth. And as far as I'm aware, you can choose to correspond with as many children as you would like. The only thing Compassion asks is that you are willing to write 3 letters per year.

Everyone has this unique chance to change a child's life. It's so simple, and money is not a requirement. You need only give time from yourself, and a little bit of your heart. You will be richly rewarded by building a relationship with your sponsored child.

Now if finances are really tight, and you're still thinking, I don't even have the money for a stamp. Don't give up! God can still use your willingness to serve. On Compassion's website you can email your child for free. You can upload photos onto beautifully colored templates and Compassion will print them out and mail them to the country of your child. All you need is internet access, and most libraries have free internet access. I don't want anyone to miss out on this opportunity. It's a chance to change a child's life and it's available to everyone.

Now that I find exciting!

To sign up to be a correspondent for a child you can contact Compassion by phone or email. If you are already a sponsor you can email Compassion with your sponsor number and they will place you on the waiting list to correspond with a child. If you are not a sponsor, include the following information in your email: Name, Address, Phone Number, and Email Address.

I believe Yeabsira is learning English in school!