Kids Say the Darndest Things

When I was growing up I never went trick-or-treating. We always had a fall party instead. We would get candy and caramel popcorn, apples and dip, and watch movies all night. The tradition has stuck with me into my adulthood.

Now that I have my own kids we still don't celebrate Halloween. We have a fall party, eat special foods, and watch movies together snuggling under a big blanket. It's fun family time.

During this season, we are in the minority. For the past couple weeks, my youngest has been asked over and over again, "What are you going to be for Halloween?"

At first he had no idea what they were talking about. But after having the same conversation many different times, he would answer, "Nothin."

That was always acknowledged with great confusion. It seemed foreign to many people that we wouldn't be dressing up for Halloween. They would often look to me the parent, and ask, "What is he going to be?"

I always very politely responded, "We don't celebrate Halloween." The conversation would quickly be dropped, some would even apologize afraid they had offended me by asking.

I have never been offended by the question. They were giving my child special attention, and I've always appreciated their courtesy.

On Halloween, we were waiting in line for lunch at Chipotle when a gentleman asked both my boys in excitement, "What are you going to be for Halloween today?"

My oldest responded with the most pleasant voice, "We don't celebrate."

My youngest, however, got a little attitude to him and with both hands on his hips, in a loud somewhat arrogant voice, "Yeah! We don't DECORATE!!"

If I wasn't so humiliated by his rudeness, I might have laughed out loud.

Do You Love Me?

Why do we always question our worth? Why can't we believe that we are loved?

I had a rather trying time with my son. He was given consequences and he didn't think they were fair. He proceeded for two hours to inform me of how unfair I was being before he finally caved and did what was needed.

It wasn't done willingly. It was done in a state of anger, and we ALL knew it by the noise that accompanied the begrudging obedience.

The rest of us were trying to go about our normal business and pretended to ignore the fit that was going on down the hallway. My other son happened to catch a glimpse of photos on the computer that were of our fun at the pumpkin patch the day before. He noticed on my blog post there were words amidst the photos and requested I read them to him aloud.

It was a scripture verse. Twice I read the post to him, emphasizing the words and trying to personalize it to him with my delivery. He loved it.

Little did I know that the scripture verse was the cause of the quietness that seemed to settle on the house. After you've listened to ranting and raving for so long, the quiet seems almost eerie. I wasn't going to question it. I figured my son had finally come to terms and was ready to accept his punishment.

Dinner came and everyone was gathered together in peace. I could tell my son had been crying. This is unusual for a fit of anger. Normally the eyes are very dry. I thought perhaps he had done some deep thinking and reflection.

I was surprised at his question. "Mom. Do you love Zech more than you love me?"

I answered him and asked, "Why would you think such a thing?" I had already drawn my own conclusion but wanted to hear his response. I figured it was because of the unfair punishment that he felt his brother should have been joining in on.

"Because I heard you talking to Zech. You said, 'I have better things for you.' You must love Zech more than me." He said this with tears in his eyes.

A simple misunderstanding. He believed I must love his brother more because of the words I was saying. He had no idea I was quoting the scripture from my blog post. I was simply reading words that were written years ago.

How many times do we misunderstand others? And how often do we misunderstand God? We draw our own conclusions based on what we think we know is true. We assume we have the facts correct.

When my son was certain of my love, he lashed out in anger. He was trying to test the boundaries to see how far he could push me. When I pushed back, he was certain of my love. He knew I wouldn't stand for that behavior. He might have been fighting me the whole time, but in actuality he felt safe and loved.

As soon as the fear crept in, and he began to question my love for him, the anger disappeared. He was no longer fighting me. He was desperately trying to earn my love back that he felt was lost. He had perfect obedience. Not necessarily because he felt the error of his ways, but because he was trying to "earn" back the love he desired.

We do the same thing with God. When we feel He's being unfair, we rail at Him, telling Him exactly how we feel about what He's done, or hasn't done. Are our facts always straight? Not necessarily. We're seeing it through tinted lenses, the lens of our life experience.

We're expecting God to be exactly like the people around us who have let us down, or left us hanging there. We see Him as human full of flaws. We figure we have all the answers and must know better than He does.

In essence, maybe we're just like my son. We lash out in anger because we understand His boundaries and feel safe within them. We may not enjoy our anger, but maybe our anger can show us how much He truly cares for us. We are feeling the loving boundaries of a father's hand.

"Don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline; don’t sulk under his loving correction. It’s the child he loves that God corrects; a father’s delight is behind all this."
Proverbs 3:11-12 (The Message)

When the anger is gone, and we start to worry that God's love is gone, we need to stop and check the facts. Why are we suddenly trying to "earn" God's love back? Are we looking through our own tinted lenses, or are we seeing things for how they really are?

God has a favorite child. You. God loves you as an individual. And it's never been about what you have done for Him. There is nothing you could do to "earn" His love. It is freely given.

"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love."
Romans 8:38

Do you trust in His love for you?

Candy Corn

Who can honestly say they don't love candy corn? Never mind, I don't really need your honest opinion. It's one of my favorite candies, as long as it's Brach's candy corn.

At my last girl movie night, one of my friends made some delicious candy corn desserts. I thought it would be fun to share the recipe during this fall season. The dessert reminds me of cheesecake. It's very rich but OH SO Wonderful.

Candy Corn Mousse
1 8oz. package of cream cheese
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 8oz. package Cool Whip

First you whip the cream cheese until smooth. Slowly add powdered sugar and milk. Add your vanilla. Carefully fold in Cool Whip. Divide into three sections and add food coloring. Layer in clear cups. Keep in fridge for at least an hour before serving.

It's so simple! You know me, I love an easy recipe. If it was hard, I wouldn't attempt it.

I thought I would combine this fun recipe with our fall activities we've been up to. For several years now we have the tradition, on Halloween, of taking the kids out of school for lunch and a trip to the pumpkin patch. We end the afternoon with a small craft we make for our trick-or-treaters. This year since Halloween fell on a Wednesday, we passed out our candy craft to friends at church.

We kept with the candy corn theme, and I put together a fun coloring page for the kids to color. 

You can feel free to use the coloring pages for your own PERSONAL use.  But please be kind and do not claim these pictures as your own or offer them for downloads.  It makes me sad to see my pictures on a coloring page website run by someone else.

**UPDATE NEW FALL COLORING SHEETS**

I have a couple NEW fall Bible Verse coloring sheets available ... 

More Fall Coloring Fun...

I think we can all use a reminder to count our blessings. God is so faithful and He does so much for us. Every day is a new adventure and a new blessing from God.

Care for an example? As I was sitting at my computer, typing this post, I received an email from my friend. This Christmas season our church is going to be sponsoring some families in Mexico with Christmas gifts. Three ladies, myself included, will be flying to Mexico, to deliver the gifts. We are working on raising money and getting donations to help with the flight cost. My friend has a cousin who is a pilot, or so she thought. She figured he might be able to get us a discount on airline tickets. Unfortunately, he is no longer employed by an airline. HOWEVER, yesterday he was looking into making a donation to an organization and ended up changing his mind. Later that day he received my friend's email. His donation was the same amount that the airline tickets have been selling for, and he feels this is the cause he should be donating to. Coincidence? I think not. God was behind it all. Christ's love was overflowing!

Here are a few pictures from the pumpkin patch. My kids had a blast! They changed a lot of things since last year. It's now much more exciting and full of more fun things to play on, under, and in!

"Parched ground that soaks up the rain and then produces an abundance of carrots and corn for its gardener gets God’s “Well done!”

But if it produces weeds and thistles, it’s more likely to get cussed out. Fields like that are burned, not harvested.

I’m sure that won’t happen to you, friends.

 I have better things in mind for you—salvation things!

God doesn’t miss anything. He knows perfectly well all the love you’ve shown him by helping needy Christians, and that you keep at it.

And now I want each of you to extend that same intensity toward a full-bodied hope, and keep at it till the finish.

Don’t drag your feet. Be like those who stay the course with committed faith and then get everything promised to them. Hebrews 6:7-12 (The Message)

Happy Fall to You All!

Larger than Life

It's the time of year for parent-teacher conferences. I have a love-hate relationship with these. While I love to hear the good things about my children, I'm not especially fond of hearing the negative. I know it's good to know everything that goes on, but I often worry my kids will be misunderstood. Especially, Gabriel.

He has a wonderfully creative young mind, however; that creative mind likes to wander a lot when it's time to focus on a task at hand.

The first conference of the year is always the hardest for me. I find out if my child got an understanding teacher, or I find out if the teacher has expectations that are impossible for my son to meet.

I am very happy to report once again my child got the teacher who gets him. She expects a lot out of him because she knows he can do it. But she won't be putting him in a box exactly the same shape as every other kid in class.

With a kid who is larger than life, this is an answer to prayer. God has blessed my family abundantly even down to the teachers who are hand-picked by Him. I love it!

The teacher also wants to have Gabe tested for gifted. She figured with a kid that is so creative the extra enriching activities would be good for him. I would have to agree!

My Venomous Mouth

Do you ever get tired of failing at the same thing over and over again? It seems like I do this again and again. I find myself wishing I was more original. I desire to walk a different path.

I have been blatantly reminded that I have a mouth that likes to speak evil. My mouth has been accustomed to following certain pathways, and it's very hard to train it to go a different way.

I should be happy that I'm making progress, but to me progress is often measured by perfection, unfortunately. Am I being perfect today? Well, then I must be making progress. Did I fail today? Oh, I guess that means I'm not moving forward.

Both are lies. My pastor likes to quote, "Progress not perfection" on a consistent basis. I need to be reminded daily of this. I will never be perfect. I will continue to fail. That doesn't mean I'm not moving forward to my goal. Even if it means I'm moving one inch at a time that is progress.

I was having a rather heated discussion with my husband. We weren't arguing; we were talking about something dealing with a friend of mine. Sometimes I get so passionate about things; I blow off steam with my husband. My mouth was a like a volcano erupting. The words were spewing all over the place and they had the potential to burn. I was worked up, and I didn't try to restrain my thoughts or feelings.

I never thought about the fact that my children were playing in the room joining us. I was focused on the feelings at hand. Gabriel interrupted me, "I'm really confused. Isn't she supposed to be your friend? Because you are talking bad about her, and I don't think you should do that when you are friends."

It felt like he threw a glass of freezing cold water at my face. My fire was out. I wanted to explain to him that what I was doing was okay; that I was just sharing my feelings with my husband. I couldn't get an excuse to come out of my mouth. Everything I wanted to defend fell flat. I was speechless. What could I say to him to make him understand?

The spoken word is powerful. Words have the potential to build you up, or tear you down.

"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." Proverbs 18:21 (The Message)

Sometimes our words can be dripping with venom.

"Venom is the general term referring to any variety of toxins[1] used by certain types of animals that inject it into their victims by the means of a bite, sting or other sharp body feature.[2] Unlike poison, which is ingested or inhaled, venom is usually delivered directly into the lymphatic system, where it acts faster."

In the dictionary it also defines it as "feeling a need to see others suffer".

This venom we deliver cannot be taken back and it is quick to kill. In most cases with our words death does not always come, but deep pain instead.

I want my words to be dripping with sweetness, full of life that will bear fruit. I want them to grow into something worthwhile and life-changing.

"The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?

Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats.

Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." James 3:8-18 (The Message)

God, please forgive me. I am resolved to treat everyone with dignity and honor in my speech whether I'm alone, or with another individual. I want my words to be sweetened with life, not pain and death. Show me how to live wisely and humbly. Thank you for pursuing me with unfailing love all the days of my life.

Money God's Way

For as long as I can remember, my pastor, at every offering will say, "Give as God tells you to." This applies to all of us, even the children.

My kids have been earning money for a couple years now, doing their work around the house. They have things they are required to do because they are a part of our family; it's just their normal duty. But then they each have one job that can earn them money. This is a fantastic way to teach in so many ways!

Each child has a chart on the fridge for the month. I laminated it so that each month we only have to erase the dates and rewrite in the new with a dry erase marker.

For my older two, their job will pay $1, and they have the opportunity to do it once a week. My youngest son's job is done almost daily, and will earn him 10 cents. When they do their job, they write a "C" for chore on the chart. They also must get a parent to initial the chart saying the job was well done.

Sometimes I offer "mystery dollars" which is marked with an "M" on the date it's given. I was finding that every time I asked for help, it was always the other persons turn. No one wanted to offer their assistance to me. Now I randomly try to choose one job that will be worth a dollar. They won't find out it was worth money until after the job is completed. This means they never know if a job mom is asking about could earn them a potential extra dollar. I love how well this works! I rarely have trouble getting work done around the house.

I also use the chart to keep track of groundings. I am always forgetting who I told they were grounded, and for how long. Not an issue anymore. When they are grounded the kids have to add a "G" to the chart. It makes it so much easier on me, and I'm able to be a more consistent parent.

Every first and third Saturday of the month is payday. This has taught them the value of a dollar, when it's their hard earned money. It's even been a lesson on credit. Many times they will try to convince me that they have money coming to them, and can they pay later? I always say, "Absolutely Not." I want them to learn from a very young age that credit is not something to be played around with. They must learn patience.

Since we treat this "chore" like a job, there are days the kids have been fired with no pay. They cannot complain and whine. If we were their boss in the "real world" we wouldn't tolerate that kind of attitude for long. They also must do a good job at it. I have made them go back and fix their mistakes many times.

We have used this chart for year now. It has been very successful. The kids love having the freedom to choose whatever they want to buy with their money. Most of the time they are a little bit more choosy about how they spend it. They realize the value of their toys now. That's like 3 or 4 months of work! Of course this depends on what they set their heart on purchasing.

Another big part of this "job" my kids have is our responsibility in teaching them about giving and saving. We always apply the rule, "You give some, you save some, and THEN you spend some." I always tell them they need to ask God how much money He wants them to give... because it's His money anyways.

I desire for my children to be generous. I want them to learn the value of giving to others, especially when it costs you something. It's easy to give away mom and dad's money. It's not as easy to give away what you worked hard for.

On Wednesday night, I was so touched by my son's giving. I happened to glimpse the envelope sitting next to me. I encourage the kids to use a giving envelope so they can see how much they gave at the end of the year. It's something to look forward to. If it had been me putting my 15 cents in the offering, I probably would have just written my name on the envelope, not thinking to divide it up.

Actually I wouldn't have even thought to give it. In my pride I would have thought the pennies were worthless, and I would have held onto them.

But to Gabe, this money was all he had. He wasn't giving from his surplus. He was giving his best to God. I thought it was so sweet how he divided up his 15 cents. I teared up when I saw that he wanted Kidsweek to get 10 cents of it. For where your heart is... there your money will follow.

"Sitting across from the offering box, he was observing how the crowd tossed money in for the collection. Many of the rich were making large contributions. One poor widow came up and put in two small coins—a measly two cents. Jesus called his disciples over and said, “The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together. All the others gave what they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all.” Mark 12:44

Disappointment

Life is full of it. It is inevitable that we will be disappointed at some time or another. There is no guarantee in this life that everything will go perfectly. The only thing we are guaranteed is that God will walk beside us through the pain.

Earlier this week, my five year old son, Zechariah, had his very first crushing disappointment. In his young age, he hasn't taken too many risks. He's been well protected.

Last week I was watching one of his friends and took them both to Billy Vanilly for cupcakes where my sister works. They were having a coloring contest. Zech and his friend, Zana, were excited to enter the contest. Both of them colored so carefully and tried to stay in the lines.

This week, I got a text from my sister saying Zana won the contest for her age group. I thought Zech would be really excited in the same way that I was.

He was not excited.

He was crushed.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing. "I thought mine was nice."

He ran to the comfort of the bathroom to hide from me. When we are in the depths of despair, we often don't want to share our pain. It can be embarrassing to be that vulnerable to those around, no matter how much they love us.

I let him cry for a while before I joined him. The words coming from inside were enough to break my heart.

"I don't like Zana's picture. I just like my picture instead. I don't want to play that game anymore. I thought I won. I don't wanna do that coloring contest cause I hate that now."

When I finally went in, he was wedged in the corner between the door and the bathtub. He didn't want my comfort or my words of encouragement. He was sad, and a little angry.

His emotions were all over the place. He would abandon the idea of ever setting foot in that cupcake place again, and then the next line would be him promising to color his picture just like Zana did so he could win.

This was the first time he had been compared to another individual and he lost. It may have been something so small as a child's coloring contest, but I could tell he was questioning his worth. Was he good enough? Did he need to change and be like the other person to be chosen?

Rejection hurts. There is no way around it. You must go through it.

You don't know how much I wanted to hold him and tell him I would buy him a cupcake, the prize for the contest. To pretend with him that he had won. I could have easily smoothed things over, and convinced him that his picture was just as good, if not better.

But... would that have been beneficial? I could have rescued him. I could have been his savior from the pain. I chose not to. I chose to sit beside him and cry with him. I wanted God to be his Savior.

There is going to come a time where the "contest" is on a much bigger scale. A time will come when the outcome is huge, life changing. I want him to learn at a very young age that he is worthy and loved by God because of who he is, not because of what he's done.

"And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners." Romans 5:4-6

We will have adversity, suffering, rejection, and disappointments. But we have hope; we have a God who loves us enough to send his son to take our punishment. There is no person I love enough to sacrifice my child for. Does this take the pain out of our rejection? Not always.

It's about a choice. Will this make me bitter and angry? Or am I going to move on? I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is to ask God, "What now? What do you want me to learn? What do you want me to do? What are you speaking to me through this?" Remember that verse I mentioned, "This hope will not lead to disappointment." God is faithful. He might ask you to do something, or He might not. He can take our disappointments and turn them around for our benefit. God can make the undesirable beautiful.

Yesterday Zana was going to get her free cupcake. I asked Zech if he wanted to join her there and he could tell her she did a good job coloring. I gave him the chance, but respected his decision. He said, "No, I don't want to go there. I just want to be her friend."

I was proud of him. Sometimes we let bitterness creep in and ruin a friendship because of jealousy or rejection. Zech wasn't going to put himself in a place where he was reminded of his loss, but he was going to continuing being friends like always.

Zana's is the 3rd picture!