To Kill a Mockingbird

This weekend was our second official meeting of our book and movie club. For almost a year now, myself and a few friends have been getting together each month for a girl's movie night. It has become so important to me, and I really look forward to the time spent with my friends.

For awhile we talked about turning the movie night into a book club too. We thought it would be fun to all read the same book, and then get together for discussion. Our first book we all read together was The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett. It wasn't our first choice; it just happened to be recommended by the library for their "Big Read" this past fall. We all won a prize for finishing among the first 20 people, and my friend won the grand prize, which included the movie that went along with the book. After seeing the movie, and reading the book, I can with my whole heart not recommend the story. It may be popular literature, however I didn't enjoy it.

At our meeting we have a couple of boxes full of movie and book suggestions. We choose out of the book box first. That way if there's a movie that goes along with the book, we can just plan on watching it. So far, all our books have been made into movies. But I'm sure we'll eventually find that it's not always the case.

This past month we all read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Last year the book celebrated its 50th anniversary! To Kill a Mockingbird is very well known and read by everyone. I remember reading it in high school for the first time. Something I found out that was interesting to me, the book's initial title was Atticus, and later was renamed to reflect more than just a character.

The book is written from the perspective of Scout, a young girl who grows up in Alabama during the Great Depression. It tells of her life adventures with her brother, Jem. The main plot of the story is centered on the girl's father, Atticus, who is defending a black man accused of raping a white woman. Because of this, the children are subject to abuse by various individuals in the small town.

It's very well written, but a little hard to get into at the beginning. However, once you're caught up in the story, it can be hard to put down.

As we got together to watch the movie, we first had to take a fun trivia quiz. I thought I would share the questions with you, but I won't provide you with the answers. You have to read the book and figure them out for yourself.

1) What foreign statement stated in the book could be considered a reference to Kansas?

2) Which of the following is a scuppernong?
A. A southern vegetable dish
B. Grapes
C. Songbird
D. Farming tool

3) Which of the following items was NOT found in the tree hole?
A. Soap dolls
B. A rusty metal
C. Chewing gum
D. Whistle
E. 2 Indian head pennies

4) What insect did Jem stop Scout from squishing?
A. Roly Poly
B. Ant
C. Spider
D. Butterfly

5) How did Tom Robinson injure his arm?

6) What was Atticus' favorite saying?

7) What was the matter with Mrs. Dubose when Jem was reading to her?

8) Why is it a sin to kill a mockingbird?

9) What was the nickname that the adults knew Atticus by that put his children in awe of him?

Bonus Question:
The NRA stands for National Rifle Association now, what does the acronym NRA stand for in the book? This answer is not explained in the book, you would have had to look it up yourself.

We always come up with something fun to eat together, and this time was ice cream sundaes. We each brought our favorite topping to share. Funny thing... almost everyone's favorite topping was strawberries. We had PLENTY to go around!


Just for fun as we were decorating our sundaes we decided to make it a contest. Who could make the prettiest sundae? These are just a couple examples.



It was a very fun educational evening. Our next book we will be reading and discussing is Persuasion by Jane Austen. Since this book was a suggestion by me, I get to make the trivia quiz for my friends.

"First of all," he said, "if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." "
-Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, spoken by the character Atticus

Jesus is ALIVE

I love this time of year! Spring has come at last. Just when I thought it would never make it; it finally came!

One of my favorite things about spring is the celebration of Easter. Jesus died on the cross and rose again. What better thing is there to celebrate?

Every year at this time my husband and I watch The Passion of the Christ. I cannot watch that movie, and not be changed. To see with my own eyes the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, it's impossible to put into words the feelings that come. I have immense gratitude and awe that He would do that for me.

The part of it that gets to me the most is when they are beating Jesus, he's lost all his strength and he's down on the ground, and just when you think they might stop and leave him alone, he gets back up to take more of it. When I see that my heart breaks because I see him doing it for me. I feel so unworthy of his love, but at the same time so grateful. When I watch this, the verses in Isaiah 53 comes to mind.

"Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for my rebellion, crushed for my sins. He was beaten so I could be whole. He was whipped so I could be healed."

How can you not be changed by this man and what he's done for us?

Easter is a time for celebration. He didn't stay dead, but rose again. It always gives me goose bumps when I think about it. I love this time of year!


One of the many ways we celebrate Easter is always a traditional Easter egg hunt. The egg symbolizes the new life we have from Jesus' resurrection, just like the new life that emerges as a baby chick hatches out of its egg.

Today we enjoyed an afternoon of hunting for Easter eggs with our children and friends. After doing a normal hunt in the backyard each year, we thought it was time for a change, to do something a little different.

Each of the kids were given an egg carton with the words Jesus is Alive spelled out. The kids were supposed to find the corresponding letters on the eggs. It made the hunt last a little longer, and was more fun to search for. I also felt like it gave the hunt more meaning.


Since the kids only have 12 specific eggs that they could pick up, we didn't need to worry too much about hiding them in hard places.


My kids really enjoyed it more this time with a goal in mind, but requested that next time we make it a longer sentence. If we do it again, maybe we'll put an entire Bible verse on the eggs. That would have them searching for a long time!






I've been purchasing these egg cartons for a long time and it wasn't until today when a friend pointed it out, they have a Bible verse on them. How fun!


I look forward to the next couple of weeks as we continue our celebration of Easter. The party has just begun, and the prize that awaits us is going to be incredible.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Normally I do my grocery shopping by myself on Saturday morning, however, this weekend we are really busy. I wasn't going to have any time at all to get it done.

Today Zech and I spent all morning long buying groceries. I was most impressed with how well Zechariah was behaving too. He helped me choose all our items, and very obediently threw them into the shopping cart.

As we were getting into our car, I noticed a dollar bill on the ground next to us. There were no cars around in the parking lot for me to offer it to, so I asked Zech if he would like the dollar for all his hard work.

He was thrilled! Zech has seen his brother and sister on many occasion earn a dollar, but so far this hasn't happened for him yet.

We were driving to the next store to complete our shopping, when he very excitedly told me, "I gonna put it in my purse when I get home!"


However, the dollar didn't make it there. He chose a candy bar at the next store!

Later, when he overheard me telling grandma the story about where he said he was putting the dollar, he very matter of factly corrected me, "I say my backpack, Mom." He must not have liked all the fuss I made about his purse.

God ALWAYS Provides

I want to thank God for always providing for my needs.

There is never a day that goes by that He hasn't given something to me.

The past month I have really been struggling with money. I haven't been worried about the day to day cost of living; it's the future that's had me afraid. I see all these bills and things piling up in my head; the amount that we're spending is growing higher and higher.

I spent two days earlier this month worrying myself sick. I couldn't sleep at night, and in the morning I didn't want to get out of bed. I would think that I had the total of everything we had spent, and then something would drop into my head. There's another $50 I forgot. It was never a fear that we didn't have the money today, it was a fear that because we were spending it all today, tomorrow we were going to be left with nothing.

I kept quoting the scripture to myself Philippians 4:19 "And my God shall supply all your needs..." I know in my heart that it's true, but I think my logical brain takes over, and I see the facts. What happens if...?

God has never let me or my family down.

When Titus and I were first married, he lost his job and didn't find work for almost a year. We never in that time were without. God always provided everything. We still could eat out for dinner occasionally, and we could buy movies, or toys for our daughter. We never borrowed money from anyone. God came through for us every time we needed something.

A month ago our pastor issued a challenge to us, The Freedom Challenge. Each of us needed to make a giving goal for the next 6 months. The church has been behind in the finances for too long, and our pastor said we were through with that. We are not supposed to be living paycheck to paycheck, or offering to offering anymore.

There is a giant thermometer on one of the walls in the auditorium with the word Freedom over the top. Under it is a block for every family unit in the church. As people have turned in their goals, blocks get colored in. The thermometer has two sides to it, the goal side, and the side that money is actually coming in. In order to have our church move forward, we need to bring in $200,000 in the next 6 months. Right now our goal bar is a little over $100,000.


As I listened to the message, to be authentic with you, I was very skeptical. Our church has been struggling for so long, and to me it always seems like it's the same people carrying it along. Only a little over half of the church has been giving, and probably the half that isn't giving isn't even sitting there listening to the message. So how are things ever going to change?

Rather than waiting for other people to change, we need to look at ourselves. There is always room for growth. It's so easy to judge other people, but do we judge ourselves so easily? The change has to start with me.

When we were challenged to come up with an amount, I knew mine would be different than my husband. They say you can't out give God; well, I can't out give my husband. God made him with a very generous heart, and I believe he has the spiritual gift of giving.

I love to give ... but I don't always love to give when it hurts me. I trust my husband, and I try to go along with his plans even when it goes against everything in me. Sometimes I may hold a small grudge, or I'm waiting for that moment when I can say, see.. I told you. But that moment never comes.

God always blesses us when we are obedient.

When I looked at the Freedom challenge, I wanted to see what we could give, not what we should give. This isn't something I realized until later. My husband had an amount he felt like we were supposed to give, and fear took over me. I kept thinking of all the things we were going to have to do without. There was no way we could afford to give that.

I have to admit, I was even a little angry. I thought, GREAT! The church isn't going to be living paycheck to paycheck anymore, but it's going to be that way for us now. It sounds horrible to me now that I was so selfish at the time. But sometimes our fears bring out the worst in us.

Since we have started giving towards our goal, money has been coming in from all different places.

I remember one time I was complaining to God about our money, and how the only time we ever get blessed is through my husband's job. And how much extra can a job really give? A paycheck that comes twice a month, maybe a bonus once or twice a year?

When we got our heating bill from February the first week of March, I was blown away. The gas bill totaled $39.96. We don't have level pay for our gas bill. When it's cold outside, we pay dearly for it. February has historically been our most expensive month. We have no idea what happened to make it so inexpensive. I thought it must be an error, and we would pay even more for March. But March came and it was fairly normal.

During the week that I was completely losing my head, and worrying for days straight about money, we received that bill, and my husband's paychecks were altered for his raise from January. I was so stressed out over the money, and when it actually came down to it, the checking account balance was exactly the same as before all those bills and things kept adding up. I felt so childish that I had wasted so much energy over something that God was in absolute control over.

Half-way through March we got a check from our credit card. We finally cashed in our points, and received a large amount of money from them.

You can never out-give God. This past weekend, my husband received a large bonus from a job he'd been working on, and today his boss called him into the office to put the paperwork through for a very large raise. That job that I said couldn't provide that much extra opportunities for blessings is proving me very wrong.

I just want to encourage you, if you ever feel like God is leading you to give something and you're afraid of what you'll have left, give it anyways. My God is so big, and blesses beyond anything you could ever imagine.

*UPDATE* As I read this post 6 years later, I am in awe over how far God has brought us. When my husband took this step of faith, and gave as we had never given before, God came through in a huge way. He has continually began to bless us since this moment. We have an over abundance of wealth. I'm not necessarily talking in a physical sense, although financially we are leaps and bounds further than we were. This step of faith was one of the anchors that I always go back to. It was this commitment that completely changed our lives. Living a life with God in the driver's seat is better than any adventure you could ever hope to go on. In my wildest dreams, I never would have pictured us to be where we are today. God's blessings are huge when we are obedient to give as He calls us to!

Happy April

When I was in second grade my teacher was Miss Wheeler who liked to celebrate the months of the year. She had a contest with her mom to be the first to welcome in a new month. Miss Wheeler said she would wake up early just to call her mom and wish her a "Happy April" or "Happy May" depending on what the month was. After she shared with all of us students, each month the first time we would see her in the classroom, we would run up and wish her a "Happy Month". It was a fun game that we would normally lose. She had been doing it for years! I may not remember every month to wish someone a "Happy April", but it was the first thing that came to mind this morning, 21 years later. Teachers have such an impact on children; I pray they are doing their best to make it a good impact.

Today is April fool's day, something my daughter has been very anxiously awaiting. I don't remember her doing much as a joke in the years past, but this time she wanted it to be extra special. In order to prepare for today, she has been wearing toilet paper wrapped around her hand, trying to convince her classmates that she broke her wrist earlier this week. This afternoon, she's planning on revealing her healed hand, and shouting, "April Fools!"


I've never gotten into this holiday. Sometimes it just seems mean, especially for those people who forget what day it is. Since I noticed how excited Ariel was for today, I figured I should get into it for her sake. I asked her this morning if she would like me to play a joke on her, and she was excited to respond, "YES!" I told her I would, but only if she wasn't going to cry when I tricked her.

To which she replied, "You're gonna try to keep me from Allison's party!"

That was my plan, but I knew then that I must change it up a little bit. I wanted it to be believable, otherwise where was the fun in it for her?

Ariel has a birthday sleepover party planned for tonight with one of her girlfriends from church. She's been talking about it for a couple of weeks, so she is pumped!

After thinking and planning my joke for awhile, and talking with a few other individuals, here's how it was going to happen.

As she gets in the car when I pick her up from school, I'm going to tell her I have some good news, and some bad news. Which news would she like first?

"The good news is that she now gets to watch "Tangled" with us while we eat our pizza dinner." (We just purchased the movie this week, and have been patiently waiting to watch it. Ariel was very sad she was going to miss it, since she'll be at her friend's sleepover)

"The bad news is... her friend, Allison, has come down with Strep throat and the party is going to have to be postponed until next week."

When she calls my bluff, I have a very convincing voicemail saved from the girl's father detailing how the party can't be tonight. Allison is sick with strep throat and isn't feeling very well. The party will be postponed until a week or so. He then says he will tell Allison we wish her well since she's on medication. It's actually so convincing I had to listen to it again just to make sure I wasn't the one the joke was supposed to be played on.

As Ariel got into the car, she immediately tried to pull an "April Fools" on me by saying she sprained her ankle during P.E. today. I didn't buy it, and then proceeded to give her the choice of whether she wanted good or bad news first.

She's a smart one, and said, "This is your April's fool's joke!"

I told her "no, this is serious."

Ariel believed every word I told her. She took the news very well, and said how sad it was that Allison was sick on her birthday, but at least the party is going to be next week.

We went about our business. Ariel rode bikes with her dad after school and then played quietly on the computer while Titus and I fixed dinner together. It wasn't until 6pm that night that I called her over to me, and said, "You need to go pack your things."

She got this huge smile and starting jumping up and down, "You mean the party is tonight?"

"April Fools!"

After I said the words, her smile turned to confusion, "ohhh.. You sure got me. I thought it wasn't cancelled."

So I told her again, "No, really, you need to go pack your things."

Ariel started jumping up and down, so I again said, "April Foo-ooool's" and laughed.

She stopped, "Aww.. You got me again. I thought you were tricking me that it was cancelled."

Titus decided to chime in now, and told her, "Seriously, go pack your things, Ariel."

I couldn't help myself. I had to say it again. "April Fools!"

She responded, "I'm so confused. I don't know what to do."

At this point, I was laughing so hard, and told her "seriously, if you don't pack your things, you're going to be late for the party. It really is happening tonight!"

She gave me a great big hug and said that was the best April Fools ever. All afternoon we had been going back and forth about how no one could ever trick her. She was smarter than the average bear! (Yogi Bear) I told her then I guess I was going to need to try really hard. What she hadn't realized at that point was that the joke was already done. She was had.

She conceded that I was truly smarter than the average bear!

HAPPY APRIL!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

We were exiting the highway on Wednesday night, when Zechariah said, "There's my church!"

I was feeling a little feisty that night, so I told him, "No, that's MY CHURCH."

It didn't faze him at all. He very sweetly said to me, "I share, Mommy." He sure did put me in my place!

Tear Down These Walls

"I'm not scared of anything!" Junior gave a shout. Then he pulled the covers high to keep the monsters out!

But there, in the all the shadows, in the corner by the chair, was something that had three long ears and tufts of shaggy hair. 

Over on the bookshelf, behind his favorite book, six or seven beady eyes peeked out to take a look. Then outside the window, hiding in the tree- was that a woolly mammoth bat? No, it couldn't be.

Everything he looked at, and all that he could hear got scarier and scarier. His knees soon knocked with fear.

Junior couldn't go to sleep. His eyes were open wide. Then he remembered something that made him smile inside. Junior said, "I'm not afraid of things, though big or small. God says He will take care of me. He's bigger than them all!" --BigIdea's VeggieTales

These past couple of weeks God has been showing me just how big and strong He really is. I wish I could say I never needed the reminder, but each and every day I'm held accountable to my humanness. Every day I see my weakness and my tendency toward fear and worry.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post In My Darkest Hour which was the beginning of my journey with the new car we purchased. Since then, we have been through many ups and downs. The car has been to the mechanic 3 times, and the problem has not yet been completely solved. In fact, it's actually escalated.

To start off we were having trouble shifting gears, and thought it might be our transmission. Since then we had found the source of the problem to be an air intake sensor. This was causing the fuel to be too rich which in turn caused the engine to give misinformation to the transmission, which made the gears shift at the incorrect time. Its amazing how one thing can lead to another and pretty soon your car just doesn't work quite right. The problem was easily solved and taken care of by a $150 bill.
 
The most troublesome and somewhat disturbing part was how the dealership fit into all this. You would think they might have caught this issue and fixed it themselves. $150 to a dealership is probably nothing when it comes to making a good sale. However ... instead they sold us the car pretending it was in perfect working condition. I don't know anything about cars, but I knew as soon as I drove away and tried to get up to speed that something wasn't quite right. They had to have known something was wrong with the car. The car's gas tank was completely empty so we couldn't leave the lot to test drive it; we were forced to stay close by, driving around in their field. We never had a chance to shift gears until the car was in our own possession.

As our car saga has continued on, the most saddening thing has come out. Our mechanic that finally was able to pinpoint the problem and get it fixed, informed us that after 25 years in the business, he's never seen anything like this. The dealer we purchased the car from actually disabled the check engine light on our car. It's not just that they took the light bulb out, it's actually disconnected somehow. That's very unethical and not to mention illegal.

You can imagine the emotions that I have gone through over the past week. On one hand the fact that they intentionally set out to deceive us just hurts, and then there's the anger that they could be so careless. What if we had an accident and someone in my family was hurt? Money is more important to them than the safety of a human life?

God has brought me through it all. I know that no matter what, He is in control. As I heard this news, I couldn't help but start to withdraw into myself, and fear began to creep up. It seemed like the more and more I thought about it, the more I was afraid. I was imagining the worst case scenarios and feeling overwhelmed. I tried to get a few moments of peace and quiet where I could just cry out to God, when Zech climbed up on my lap with his book, "I'm Not Scared!" Reading to him at that time was really the last thing that I felt like doing.

I made it through almost the entire book, with only two pages remaining when I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I read the line "Everything he looked at, and all that he could hear got scarier and scarier. His knees soon knocked with fear." I was Junior sitting in my chair paralyzed with my fear. I kept hearing new things, and new fears were taking over me. What was going to happen? And where was God?

Then just like Junior as I read the next page in the book, my tears turned to a smile. "I'm not afraid of things, though big or small. God says He will take care of me. He's bigger than them all!" God is so much bigger than a person who cheats or lies. Because no one can cheat or lie to God. He knows everything. And not only does He know everything, He takes care of it all. God is my protector. He can solve my problem that needs to be fixed.

As I went off to church that night, my mind was in a much better place. I knew that God was there. Every time when I'm in real trouble or hurting, God always seems to speak to me through music. It's a way to connect on a deep heartfelt level that I cannot even begin to explain. As we were singing the song Tear Down These Walls by Hillsong, God was continuing to work on my heart.

Tear down the walls see the world

Is there something we have missed?

Turn from ourselves

Look beyond

There is so much more than this

And I don't need to see it to believe it

I don't need to see it to believe it

Cause I can't shake this

Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise

See His majesty revealed

More than this life there is love

There is hope and this is real

Cause I don't need to see it to believe it

I don't need to see it to believe it

Cause I can't shake this fire burning

Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising

As Your glory floods our hearts

Let love tear down these walls

That all creation would

Come back to You

It's all for You

Your Name is glorious

Glorious

Your love is changing us

Calling us

To worship in spirit and in truth

As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters

Who are walking in the darkness

You are calling us to lead them back to You

We will see Your spirit rising

As the lost come out of hiding

Every heart will see this hope we have in You

All day long I had felt a bitterness creeping in slowly. I wanted to be angry. I felt like I had this right; that I had been wronged greatly, and needed vindication. I was just hoping and praying that someone would ask how my day had gone so I could give them the 411 on how I'd been hurt, and deceived.

As I was singing the words to this song God was showing me the truth about what I was going through. I couldn't believe that the dealership would do that, when God just dropped these two words into my mind. Why not? What am I expecting from them? It was very obvious when we were signing the title to our car that the man was not a Christian. Three times he spelled my husband's name wrong, and after I told him it was like the book of the Bible, you would have thought by the sound he made or the look on his face he had never heard of a Bible before, let alone that it would even have books in it.

Why are we always so surprised when the world acts the way that they do? They are simply going with their sin nature. "For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard." Romans 3:23

We, who have committed our lives to Christ, should be held to a higher standard. But we cannot expect the world to do the same. They don't have a book that guides their life, and a God who they can go to in times of trouble. They have to look to themselves and figure things out.

How scary is that?

I am so grateful that I have the listening ear of a God who is big and strong; He has an answer for every problem. I wish I could say that I picked up on this quickly, and that God burned in it my heart, so that I would not forget what He was saying to me. But alas, I was slow. I wanted to post this a week ago, and something kept stopping me. I just couldn't bring myself to write it, or even think about it. I was still holding on to unforgiveness, and I needed a reminder of the words to this song; to actually tear down the walls I had allowed to grow.

Those walls you build may at the time seem to protect you, but they also can keep out the good. I spent a week feeling sorry for myself, and building up walls to keep everyone out, including God. I was mad. I allowed my circumstances to distract me from the purpose of my life.

It doesn't take much to take your eyes off of God. I kept my focus on my problem, and it became too much. It was only today after more tears and pain that I realized my walls need to break. I needed to stop looking to myself for answers like the world does. I needed to look beyond where God was and always is.

The only way to truly overcome is to maintain your FOCUS on God.

"Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed- that exhilarating finish in and with God- he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!" Hebrews 12:2-3


For anyone who read my previous post, In My Darkest Hour, the song was playing on the radio as we pulled into the parking lot of the auto service center and learned this news about the check engine light being disabled. "When all around me starts to fall, and when my faith it seems so small, even in my darkest hour, I WILL BELIEVE." I know God was preparing me for the road that would lie ahead.

Liberty Truck Sales Mounds Oklahoma
http://libertytrucksales.net/
The Rest of the Story:
The Light in Me
The End